Cooking 101: The deep fried KitKat.
kilby on November 10th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Thanksgiving feast is around the corner and you still don’t know what to bring to the table? Way too much candy left over from Halloween? Not sure whether to make orderves or a dessert? How about both! Be prepared to be the master chef when everyone is chomping down on your fried long brown KitKats.
Step 1: Wash hands. (Clean Hands Save Lives!) If unsure of what “Hands” or “wash” are refer to video below.
How to Wash Your Hands — powered by eHow.com
Step 2: Mix some fucking flour, a little goddamn sugar and one motherfucking egg.
Step 3: While using all three hands, Dip KitKat in batter.
Step 4: Wash Hands. This time, don’t skimp out – RUB YOUR HANDS TOGETHER.
Step 5: Set battered KitKat inside fryer. For added flavor, you may want to use some discarded fried catfish and/or cod, as seen above.
Step 6: Let her fry. If you do not have electricity or a functional fryer, blowing bubbles in the grease with a straw will produce a similar outcome.
Step 6B: While frying, remove yourself from the Kitchen and take a much needed shit.
Step 7: Wash Hands. (If you didn’t half ass the last two washings this would not have been necessary.)
Step 8: After approx. 60-100 seconds, Examine fried KitKat. If it looks like a Hotdog with a horrible yeast infection, your meal is done!
Step 9: Serve that badboy up with some chocolate and be prepared to be the number one pussymagnet of the party.
Tip: Goes Great with Pepto Bismal!
Precaution: Please refrain from cutting with a fork, as it may result in causing your meal to vanish only to reappear on the floor seconds later.
The Verdict
It’s like eating a KitKat wrapped in a Doughnut!
It’s actually… um.. kind of good!
If this falls off of your body, I would probably eat it.
3/4 Thumbs Up!
7 Comments
kilby | November 10th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Smooth one, the secret ingredient is no longer secret.
Beezard | November 10th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
I never said WHICH beer.
The Boogeyman | November 11th, 2009 at 12:55 am
We used Witch Beer????
Beezard | November 11th, 2009 at 2:26 am
super spooky, huh?
The Boogeyman | November 11th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I Want An Avatar!!!
kilby | November 11th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
What picture do you want? Aside from the one I just used…
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I distinctly remember it being a beer batter! you lied to the public! the shit break was dead real, however…